Rapping Up 2009

Hope everyone has a great New Year. But just in case you missed it, see and hear what this dude with too much time on his hands has to say about 2009.

Funny Pic of the Day

Seriously, I would have moved. No, I wouldn't have worn either of those jerseys. Either way, ironically funny.

Tiger's New Sponsor

Michael McDonald Christmas Choir from Funny Or Die

Hark! The Hairy White Men Sing. Do yourself a favor and click the link below. Merry Christmas Everybody!!!

Michael McDonald Christmas Choir from FOD Team and Eugene Cordero - Video

Merry Christmas Everybody!!!

It is near the Christmas break of the school year. The students have turned in all their work and there is really nothing more to do. All the children are restless and the teacher decides to have an early dismissal.

Teacher: "Whoever answers the questions I ask, first and correctly, can leave early today." Little Johnny says to himself "Good, I want to get outta here. I'm smart and will answer the question."

Teacher: "Who said 'Four Score and Seven Years Ago'?" Before Johnny can open his mouth, Susie says, "Abraham Lincoln." Teacher: "That's right Susie, you can go home." Johnny is mad that Susie answered the question first. Teacher: "Who said 'I Have a Dream'?" Before Johnny can open his mouth, Mary says, "Martin Luther King." Teacher: "That's right Mary, you can go." Johnny is even madder than before. Teacher: "Who said 'Ask not what your country can do for you'?" Before Johnny can open his mouth, Nancy says, "John F. Kennedy." Teacher: "That's right Nancy , you may also leave."

Johnny is boiling mad that he has not been able to answer to any of the questions. When the teacher turns her back Johnny says, "I wish these bitches would keep their mouths shut!" The teacher turns around: "NOW WHO SAID THAT?" Johnny: "TIGER WOODS. CAN I GO NOW?

CRAP!!!

From Yahoo! Sports...

The mega-fight between Floyd Mayweather and Manny Pacquiao is now in jeopardy after Golden Boy Promotions, on behalf of Mayweather Promotions, learned today that Manny Pacquiao is refusing to comply with Olympic style drug testing as outlined and mandated by the United States Anti Doping Agency (USADA) and as requested by Mayweather's management to ensure fair play and sportsmanship by both fighters.

I'm not sure what to think on this one. Either Manny is doing drugs (and what a popular name to be doing drugs), or his pride is hurt. Either way take the damn test and let's get it on.

Little Prick Flicks Off Camera...Hilarious!!!

OUCH!!!

That can't feel good.

Gotta Love 80's Movie Remakes

Even Aladdin Takes a Shot At Tiger Woods

Go to the 1:10 mark. Pretty good stuff. Good form Disney.

Report: Brittany Murphy May Have Been All Doped Up at Time Of Death

Although no illegal drugs or any alcohol type containers were found in and around Brittany Murphy's bedroom where she died, there were some other stuff found. According to reports, several different types of drugs were found in her room. Drugs ranging from Seizure medicine to anxiety drugs, to ironically, anti-heart attack drugs. Seems like a potential over dose or something of the sort. Still a very sad story about an actress that I liked.

And Now Our Next Installment of Bad Parenting 101

From the Associated Press...

Police say a frustrated Boston woman called 911 to say she couldn't get her 14-year-old son to stop playing video games and go to sleep. Police spokesman Officer Joe Zanoli said Monday the mother called for help around 2:30 a.m. Saturday to say that the teenager also walked around the house and turned on all the lights. Two officers who responded to the house persuaded the child to obey his mother. Zanoli says the mother's 911 call over video game obsession "was a little unusual, but by no means is it surprising — especially in today's day and age when these kids play video games and computer games." The Boston Herald first reported the 911 call, saying the boy was playing the popular "Grand Theft Auto" game.

Sometimes, the shear stupidity of people is simply mind numbing. Apparently she's never heard of a power supply or circuit breaker. Hell, I would have used a freaking sledge hammer!

WTF?

What the hell is the world coming too? Seriously...People it's Christmas!!!

The Raiders Aren't Even Good at Wearing Pants

Here's the Raiders Tommy Kelly losing his pants while making a tackle. It also settles a bet about weather or not football players wear cups. Hilarious.

It Seriously Never Gets Old

The New York Post is Funny. I hope you enjoy this little nugget. What's the difference between Santa and Tiger Woods...Santa only had three HOs

Funny Stuff...SNL is Kinda Funny Again...Kinda

Jesse Ventura Goes on Radio, Gets Mad, and Storms Off

Some other stuff happened too, but the argument between The Body and comedian Jim Norton is awesome non the less.

Funny Pic of the Day

You know, what a great bet! But also, what a great sport for actually following through on his commitment. And besides, he'd be wearing jean shorts anyways, most likely, so isn't this kinda an upgrade?

Great Commercial

What do you get when you have a good product and three of the world's most marketable figures? Here ya go!!!

David Letterman Calls Kate Hudson A Slumpbuster...Hilarity Ensues

UPDATE: Hudson and AROD have broken up. Nice job Dave...you insensitive prick!!!

An Unfortunate, But Hilarious Headline

Either the Today Show's producer is funny as hell, or he has never seen a naked woman. Either way it's funny for all.

The Greatest Tonight Show Performance of All Time

Seriously Jared Leto and the boys of Thirty Seconds to Mars put on a great one the other day.

Reason #49 to Hate Iowa...Go Jackets!!!

Tiger's New Book

Will it ever stop? The only difference between a Escalade and a Nike Golf Ball is that Tiger can drive the golf ball 300 yards and NOT hit a tree. BA DUM DUH. I can do this all day.

First the SEC Then Your Pride

Nothing better than a chick Alabama fan beating a trash talking dude Florida fan at the SEC halftime at a little game of football toss.

SNL on Tiger Woods

We knew it was coming and I must admit, it's funny as hell. Of course, people are outraged that the skit depicts domestic abuse as funny. No it's not funny, but booking Rhianna as the musical guest on the same freaking night is down right hilarious!!!

I Actually Might Give A Crap About Soccer After All...Maybe

Check out the cover of The Sun in England after the World Cup Draw was finished. Sure England and the U.S. have a relatively easy draw. But damn this cover is sure to back fire. And it pisses me off a little bit. Maybe just enough for me to give a crap about the World Cup. Let's go U.S.A.

Gators Get Smoked...Tebow's Eyes Water

Here's the still of "Big Baby" Tim Tebow crying after the Gators got freaking smoked by the Alabama Crimson Tide. Hey, I was on the Florida bandwagon, but this is unacceptable. Grown men should not cry after a loss. Isn't this the exact reason we as men don't like women's sports? It is for me. Tim Tebow was kinda a sore loser. I know he is so passionate, but if I was gonna cry I would make damn sure I had a towel around my head in the middle of the bench. Not by myself way down the sideline so all the world can see. Tim, you worked so hard to get my fandom...and you lost it just like that. Shame on You.

Mark Mangino Fired

Not really big news, it just gives us a reason to put this picture up of him flying coach. No pun intended.

Merry Christmas From the Woods Family

BTW no truth to the rumor that Tiger is changing his name to Cheetah...Wa wa wa!!!

Dumbass of the Day...Other than Tiger

Here's the video of Florida Panther Keith Ballard getting frustrated and accidentally hitting his goalie and friend Tomas Volkoun in the head. Hilariously stupid. Volkoun us OK BTW and Ballard mybe the onlt man stupider than Tiger Woods...Ok it's a tie.

Oops!!!

Tiger Woods is screwed...No Pun intended. Chalk another one up to the asshole files.